Telltale’s Sam & Max Season 1 a.k.a. Sam & Max Save the World quotes
Sam: Remember our motorcycle trip through the Midwest?
Max: Just you, me, and the authorities from seven states. But those were quieter times.
Max: One way, dead end… street signs are such fitting metaphors for the human condition.
Sam: Remind me to refill your prescriptions.
Sam: That may be the least relaxing sign I’ve ever seen.
Max: What about the one at the barber shop that says “low fatality rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.
Sam (on the telephone): Hello, is this the president? It is? Really? Well, thanks, that’s all I wanted to know.
Sam: There’s only one explanation for a propeller on the wall…
Max: Yes. This TV station is a giant flying battleship!
Sam: Either that or it’s just a “prop.” Heh, get it?
Max: I vote for the giant flying battleship.
Max: Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming “Die! Why won’t you die!,” and Sam said, “You crack me up, little buddy!”
Myra: The point being…?
Max: I crack Sam up!
Max: I have a dream, America. It starts out where I’m in an all-nude production of “death of a salesman” on ice, but I haven’t studied and can’t remember my lines! Suddenly it begins to rain marshmallows but that’s okay because trees are made of graham crackers and chocolate bars are the official currency. I believe that by working together, we can make that dream a reality.
Max: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And the chupacabra. Madre de dios, he’ll kill us all!
Sam: How would you describe your tax plan?
Lincoln: Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Host: And that doesn’t really make a bit of sense, so it looks like politics as usual here at the debate.
Sam: You have to admire the pro-lobby lobbyists for their unrepentantly self-serving stance.
Max: I prefer the charming, self-destructive nihilism of the anti-lobby lobbyists.
Max: Hey, Sam, what’s the difference between online banking and online gambling?
Sam: Judging by what I see here, not much.
Sam: Here ya go, Max, have your very own store.
Max: Oh, goody! Now I can use it as a convenient front to make a fortune selling weapons of suspect origin in bulk to third world countries!
Sam: You’re the president, idiot.
Max: Oh, right. I guess I don’t need a front then. You can keep it.
Sam (reading an ad): Diploma Mill College: try our new drive-thru post-doctorate program!
Sam (on the telephone): I saw what you did. Keep the payments coming, and nobody has to find out. Yeah, okay. Love you too, mom.
Sybil: Is pure happiness a lie? Is peace on Earth a hopeless dream? Are unicorns imaginary?
Sam: Mostly, probably, and it depends on how far you live from a facility that processes nuclear waste.
Sam: Having my bliss separated is not what the brochures made it out to be!
Sam: I miss the old days, when our cases were less thinking and more shooting stuff.
Max: Luckily, my short-term memory makes me impervious to nostalgia.
Sam: Random but innocuous comment.
Max: Irreverent reply that hints at mental instability!
Sam: You crack me up, little buddy.