- And, of course, with my Dad being in the military we moved around a lot…
- Mmmm-hmmm.
- I remember this one town we moved to when I was in the first grade…
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, the only industry in the area was figs. Acres and acres of fig trees, everywhere you looked. I myself never really cared for figs. I always liked dates more. Or prunes. Don’t you just love prunes?
- Hey, Carla. That’s an awfully nice metal detector you have.
- They have such a great texture… They all wrinkled up like my Grandma Hedwig’s face. Oh, poor Grandma Hedwig… She was always forgetting things. I remember one time back when I was six… or maybe I was seven… no no no no, I had to be six because Mr. Ruffus was still alive.
- Speaking of metal detectors…
- Now, there was a good dog, Mr. Ruffus! Such a sweet little puppy, we didn’t care that he was deaf. He was as deaf as they come, but he’d still try to bark, and it would come out sounding like a cat coughing up a hairball, which you cat often did, he had such long hair.
- Could I hold that metal detector for a second?
- I don’t really like long-haired cats, do you, Manny? They’re just so… I like short-haired cats. They seem less stuck-up.
- You know what I like? METAL DETECTORS!
- People think I’m stuck-up sometimes, believe it or not. No, they really do, I don’t know why.
- Why? Because you wouldn’t let them touch your metal detector?
- I guess it’s because I’m so shy. I was shy all the way through high school. I never went to a single dance, can you believe it? Don’t get me wrong, the boys would ask, but I’d just run away.
- I’ll take you dancing tonight if you let me borrow that thing!
- My mom said I could have been homecoming queen if I’d just smile once in a while…
- Hey, “Mom” begins with “M”. Do you know what else does?
- She always said, “A smile is the most important part of any outfit!” Well, maybe I would have smiled more, Mom, if you hadn’t drunk so much!
- I would smile more if I had a metal detector.
- Was I supposed to smile when the cops called us in the middle of the night to tell us to come get you out of the drunk tank? Maybe if I had smiled more, Daddy wouldn’t have left us!
- Maybe Daddy left because you wouldn’t SHARE things…
- We’d be together right now, you, me, Daddy, and Grandma Hedwig, and Mr. Ruffus, and I’d be wearing my homecoming queen crown and eating figs and… and…
- And I’d be playing with your metal detector?
- …and I’d… OH MOTHER! I’m so sorry! Waaaaaaaah! Mommy!
- Here, let me hold that metal detector for you while you cry…
- Did you just come back here to ask to borrow my metal detector?
- Yes.
"Strip-search" scene, Grim Fandango

- And, of course, with my Dad being in the military we moved around a lot…

- Mmmm-hmmm.

- I remember this one town we moved to when I was in the first grade…

- Oh, really?

- Yeah, the only industry in the area was figs. Acres and acres of fig trees, everywhere you looked. I myself never really cared for figs. I always liked dates more. Or prunes. Don’t you just love prunes?

- Hey, Carla. That’s an awfully nice metal detector you have.

- They have such a great texture… They all wrinkled up like my Grandma Hedwig’s face. Oh, poor Grandma Hedwig… She was always forgetting things. I remember one time back when I was six… or maybe I was seven… no no no no, I had to be six because Mr. Ruffus was still alive.

- Speaking of metal detectors…

- Now, there was a good dog, Mr. Ruffus! Such a sweet little puppy, we didn’t care that he was deaf. He was as deaf as they come, but he’d still try to bark, and it would come out sounding like a cat coughing up a hairball, which you cat often did, he had such long hair.

- Could I hold that metal detector for a second?

- I don’t really like long-haired cats, do you, Manny? They’re just so… I like short-haired cats. They seem less stuck-up.

- You know what I like? METAL DETECTORS!

- People think I’m stuck-up sometimes, believe it or not. No, they really do, I don’t know why.

- Why? Because you wouldn’t let them touch your metal detector?

- I guess it’s because I’m so shy. I was shy all the way through high school. I never went to a single dance, can you believe it? Don’t get me wrong, the boys would ask, but I’d just run away.

- I’ll take you dancing tonight if you let me borrow that thing!

- My mom said I could have been homecoming queen if I’d just smile once in a while…

- Hey, “Mom” begins with “M”. Do you know what else does?

- She always said, “A smile is the most important part of any outfit!” Well, maybe I would have smiled more, Mom, if you hadn’t drunk so much!

- I would smile more if I had a metal detector.

- Was I supposed to smile when the cops called us in the middle of the night to tell us to come get you out of the drunk tank? Maybe if I had smiled more, Daddy wouldn’t have left us!

- Maybe Daddy left because you wouldn’t SHARE things…

- We’d be together right now, you, me, Daddy, and Grandma Hedwig, and Mr. Ruffus, and I’d be wearing my homecoming queen crown and eating figs and… and…

- And I’d be playing with your metal detector?

- …and I’d… OH MOTHER! I’m so sorry! Waaaaaaaah! Mommy!

- Here, let me hold that metal detector for you while you cry…

- Did you just come back here to ask to borrow my metal detector?

- Yes.

"Strip-search" scene, Grim Fandango

  1. radicaldreamer017 reblogged this from ratherpsychonaut and added:
    AH… I remember how funny the part with Carla was.
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